The last few weeks at Stagecoach have been rather relaxed... no stomach crunches in dance class, no difficult techniques to work on in drama... I should have known better than to drop my guard...
Tonight, first the dance teacher half-killed us, and then the drama teacher finished off the job. This after the singing teacher worked us mercilessly on the same song all lesson.
I shall now share selected parts of the evening with you.
The highlight of singing: the class discovering that part of the song we were working on, the only Maltese song in our singing programme, contains a bit that sounds like an EXTREMELY rude word. Lol.
The Class: *giggle*, *snort*
Me: Eh?
Girl Next To Me: Why are they laughing?
Me: I dunno
The Class: *sings*
Me: Aaaaaaaah! Now I get it!
Singing Teacher: I'd just like to point out that you aren't supposed to sing it in quite that way, okay?
The highlight of dancing: the moment when the dance teacher finally let us rest our arms after what felt like half-an-hour of continuous exercises designed to "strengthen your arms muscles".
Dance Teacher: Ah, do you feel that? Do you feel the burn?
The Class: Aaaggrrrhhhh...
The rest of that lesson did not so much contain highlights as a series of lowlights, such as: back summersaults where one has to end up with one's limbs arranged in a certain position, forward summersaults where one has to end up with one's limbs arranged in a certain position, and, of all things, cartwheels.
Dance Teacher: But surely you did cartwheels as a child!Me: Um, no, actually.
Dance Teacher: Well, come along, it's your turn to have a go.
Student: Give me your glasses, they might fall off!
Me (weakly): Well, at least I can't see the terror approaching now!
Me: *does a very, very, very pathetic attempt at a cartwheel and chickens out at the last second*
Class: *laughs*
Dance Teacher: Go on then, have another go!
Me: *executes a slightly less pathetic attempt*
Dance Teacher: Are you OK?
Me: Um, I see these sparkly bits floating in front of my eyes.
Dance Teacher: Ah, that's normal.
Me: *wah*
Oh hang on, there WAS one highlight... when Da Kween herself popped in for a few seconds. That would have been right after the half-an-hour of torture, and just before my abject and rather public humiliation, which thankfully she didn't stick around long enough to witness.
After dance, on to the drama.
And the drama teacher decides that today (of all days, given the dance lesson we had just endured) is a good day to figure out different ways of carrying, lifting and otherwise manhandling people across a room.
Random student: *accidentally kicks other student in the head*
Other student: Aaaggrrrrrrrhhhh! *clutches head in agony*
Semi-hysterical student #1: Oh! I know first aid! Give her air! Aaaarrrggghhhh!
Other student: *clutches head in agony*
Semi-hysterical student #2: Oh, I'm so sorry! Really! I didn't mean to do that!
Other student: *clutches head in agony*
Rest of the class: *looks on worriedly*
Repeat the above for about five minutes until the possibly-concussed student feels better.
Later on...
Me: *recounts my evening to Middle Sis*
Middle Sis: *laughs so much she has to slow down the car*
Even later...
Dad: And you go and do this voluntarily!
Me: It's even worse that that, I pay for the privilege...
(You all know that I love it really, don't you? Just don't tell my teachers, cos it's fun to complain during lessons, heheheheh)
LOLOLOL!!!!!! i wanna know which song it is now!!!!! *curious* and GUFFAW re sparkly bits in front of eyes!! some people pay good money to see those sparkly bits!! mwhahahaha!!!!! (hope the courage worked btw!)
Posted by: Da Kween | March 14, 2006 at 09:22
Ikkonsla... I've never done a cartwheel in my life either. Emma keeps telling me I should join a lesson to which I always nod and say "yes, yes when I have time", knowing that the time will NEVER come as the humiliation would be too much to bear!
Ooh, i want to know rude word in song!
Posted by: Reesa | March 14, 2006 at 10:08
Dear Kween, ooooh, come to think of it, the courage you shared with us was probably why I managed to even attempt a cartwheel after carefully never doing so for the first twenty-five years of my life. Thank-you very much. You could probably sell that stuff, I'll be your celebrity endorser after I become famous.
Reesa, you can just stand in the back with the rest of us non-dancers! Emma said that this particular session was so we could get all the gymnastics out of the way in one go, so you might be safe now *grin*
Posted by: MaltaGirl | March 14, 2006 at 19:33