4.48 Psychosis

Once a year, the MADC (Malta Amateur Dramatic Club) puts on the One-Act-Play Festival.

The idea is that five or six short plays are staged over a weekend, with the intention of giving opportunity for acting and directing to people who are new to it, or who wouldn't ordinarily get a chance to do so. Anyone can audition as long as they're a member of the MADC.

So, having downloaded my membership form off the website, got it signed by Reesa and Da Kween at the Bloggers' Bash in Balzan, and mailed it in a couple of weeks ago, I show up at the MADC clubrooms to audition.

I walk in a little early and there's about ten other people there, and I know no-one.

Oh well.

I walk around reading the posters for a while, then stand around wondering if I'll be branded completely anti-social if I pull out my Palm and continue reading the e-book I'm currently on. I decide against it, since actors are notoriously sociable people.

A man with curly hair explains that we're to sign up on a piece of paper, and leaves a stack of one-page script extracts for us on the table - we'll be called upstairs in pairs to read the script.

I have a look at the script, it's got some funny bits in it for all that it's short - a haughty lady and an annoyed man - it's from The Bear by Anton Chekov, one of the plays that will be in the festival. I try to remember something, anything, about Anton Chekov, but nope. Oh well.

Then a girl walked up to me and said that since her name was just before mine on the sign-up sheet, she thought we might be called up together. So we read through the script a couple of times, swapping the parts between us, and made some small talk.

Then G walked in, which made me feel much better, someone I know and a blogger to boot!

We all hung around for a while as more would-be actors trickled in along with the occasional director...

Finally all the directors had arrived and the stage manager, who has twice turfed me out of backstage at the Manoel, was sorting out who was going to be paired with whom. The girl who had come over to talk to me was put with a guy, but the guy who I was supposed to be paired with already had a partner. So did the next girl on the list. As did the next.

So out of all the people auditioning (what, about twenty?), little old me was partnerless.

My beloved Michael was around, but he picked this weekend to come down with influenza, and he is so hoarse that he can barely speak, so he bowed out of auditioning.

Well, the auditions started and pair after pair were called upstairs, and no-one else showed up and I remained partnerless.

Finally, after everyone else had gone up, it was my turn.

I walked in the door to be greeted by Zemp, who turned around and said, "Oh, it's YOU"... of all people, HE was to be my partner for the audition, although he was supposed to be choosing actors for the play that Sharon is directing in the Festival.

We're about to start, and he whispers to me, "I'll be Popova and you be Smirnov, ok?".

Ok.

I wait for him to say the first line.

Nothing happens.

He stares at me.

The directors stare at me.

Zemp hisses, "Go on then!"

I look at the script, confused.

"But what am I..." he prompts me.

It's Popova's first line... OH! I realise that ZEMP is Smirnov, not me.

Rattled, I start reading, while a small part of my brain comments that my hands are shaking like mad...

I realise that Zemp has taken the part with all the good lines, and left me with the one that has six short lines as opposed to three lines and three paragraphs.

During his paragraphs I try to act, as in, express a reaction to what he's saying, and that small part of my brain wonders why various muscles on my face are now also twitching.

Zemp gets to the second half of the page, where his character has a chunk of speech that contains four words in French. What does he do, he speaks the ENTIRE paragraph in his best French accent, and the small part of my brain is having hysterics, while the rest of me is trying to get a grip.

I grind out my last line, and Zemp says, I'm not going to bother reading this last bit.

I wait for someone to tell me "OK, now you be Smirnov and he'll be Popova", but no-one says anything.

The directors stare at me, and the man with curly hair smiles and tells me to wait downstairs.

I trudge off, aware that it had been an abysmal performance by anyone's standards, and am doubtful that anyone's going to want me in their play. I console myself with the thought that, hey, at least I get a good blog post out of this experience.

Downstairs, we wait, and wait, and wait a little more, and then the stage manager yells that we're all to come upstairs.

Mike waits downstairs and I head up with the rest, and then run back down to retrieve a copy of the script in case there's a second round of auditions as someone said there might be, for the people who aren't chosen first time round.

The man with curly hair says, good news, you're all in!

Relieved, we cheer.

One of the directors is now doing a different play to accomodate the fact that there are (as usual, eh?) loads more women than men, but we're all in. So I won't have to go home feeling dejected, and mentally re-write that part of my blog post.

Another guy takes a list and starts assigning us to directors. To Sharon Spiteri... I hold my breath, but my name isn't called. Heh, Zemp was too busy being French to look at me anyway.

The next play, I'm not called.

The next one, and I am!

And GUESS who my director is. Just GUESS.

It's Toni Attard, the man who gave me five A's for Drama in my Stagecoach report this year... heheheh...

Three other women walk over with me and we cluster around Toni, he takes our contact details, mentions that there is a male cast member who will join us later, and starts explaining a bit about the play.

True to Toni's usual form, it is a weird play.

Well, let me rephrase that.

Think of "weird", triple it, and now you're in the vicinity.

Well, what else could I expect of a man who had us spend six months walking around a hall hurling abuse at imaginary objects and manhandling each other around the room?

He shows us the script.

It's incredible, and I mean incredible as in, incredible that such a document could qualify as "a play".

Some lines are just lists of words. Some are just a jumble of numbers. It's a play about a mentally ill person... it's appropriately called "4.48 Psychosis" and the author is Sarah Kane.

Two of the other girls immediately start discussing costumes, staging and characterisation with Toni. The other woman is relatively silent. And inside, I'm thinking, "When am I going to get to act in a proper play with a proper script? Imma WHEN?".

But, you know, much as I dislike experimental theatre, it IS kind of fun once you embrace the weirdness. And from the looks of things there is going to be PLENTY of weirdness in this one.

Hey, it can only help me grow as a performer, plus it's an opportunity to learn more about writing and directing, right?

Afterwards, I mention to Toni that Michael is downstairs, and his face lights up, and he goes off to discuss mental illness with him. Walking to the car, Michael explains to me that some of the weird things that I've seen in the script are actually symptoms of psychosis, and he names them.

At home, I use Wikipedia and Google to read about Sarah Kane, who suffered from bipolar disorder and hanged herself before this play was ever staged. I find some short extracts from 4.48 Psychosis, which make me cry, and order Sarah Kane: Complete Plays from play.com.

This is going to be interesting...

*grin*

Oh, and Zemp tells me that I didn't do as badly in my audition as I thought I did ;-)

Comments

[G]

I'm in a play with 4 other women... ajma hej! Hehehe we'll see how it goes. I haven't actually seen the yet. And how unfair Sharon got the good-looking guys :P

[MaltaGirl]

She's not stupid, she picked a play where 80% of the cast is male...

[Reesa]

Isma, when are the dates... coz I think I can come to see you after all!

[MaltaGirl]

Oooh, how cool - the festival is going to be on the last weekend of October - one set of plays will be on Thursday 26th and Saturday 28th, and the other set will be on Friday 27th and Sunday 29th. Judging for the awards will be based on the Saturday and Sunday performances, but Toni has already advised us that our play is too weird to win anything, lol...

I don't which plays are on what days, or even if that has been decided yet.

So, can you make it?

[Cory]

If you fly me out there, I will attend!

[Reesa]

Yep... i think 'Some Explicit Polaroids' will be over by then!

[Sharon]

G, I'll tell Nick you think he is good-looking *grin* I directed him in his first play and made him audition just so I could needle him all over again :) He is so adorably pickable! I have never met the other male cast member so I cannot comment. However, I would like to point out that my cast is made up of TWO men and FOUR women... does anyone have a problem with that? :)

Rees... this time I am going to play unfair... if you and the Queen don't come and watch my play I will never speak to you again... to think that I was even made to watch the same performance twice and I come back all the way from the UK to direct a measly one-act and you find an excuse not to come... Ha! Especially the Queen who has DISAPPEARED from my life. I want to know why! *stamps foot and makes lower lip quiver*

[Reesa]

Dahhhhhhhhhhhling... if I am not actually physicially on stage, I will definately come and watch your play! And Jo's. And Toni & Maltagirl's. And G's. And you didn't watch ONE performance twice. It was two different performances with totally different actresses. And we had gotten you two free tickets, one for each show. And... ooooooooh, I almost said something nasty about the'flying back for the one-acts bit but have itten my virtual tongue. Btw, Pea is in Venice with the other half.... she comes back tomorrow. Love ya!

[G]

Sha, I know Nicky very well actually. God knows I've seen him in interesting positions ;) and possibly joined him in a couple of them too. *lol* But he knows that he has perfect pouty lips!