Bridal shower (no soap required)

On Friday, the ladies at my church threw me a bridal shower.

They all brought food, but of course my favourite remains the pastor's wife's chocolate cake iced with Nutella, and sprinkled with hundreds-and-thousands!

One of the ladies had prepared a game for us to play, where she had wrapped ten different herbs in cloth, and we passed them around and tried to match them to their names. I only got two right, you can tell I'm a 'Mixed Herbs' kind of girl, lol.

Then they took turns in offering me a piece of advice, based on their experiences in marriage. (the teenagers present weren't allowed to comment, lol)

I took notes, and here's what they said:

• Have patience
• Don't go to sleep angry
• Don't act in anger
• Work together to resolve conficts
• Cuddle and spoil your husband, because men like that too!
• Don't expect something (like cuddles) if you're not willing to give it
• Always stick together
• Put God at the centre of your marriage
• Keep your priorities right - first God, then your husband, then your kids
• Don't let someone else come between you and your husband
• Pray by yourself, pray with your husband, pray with your kids
• Be flexible and ready for change
• Run! Run! (hahaha)
• Trust each other
• Don't insult each other, even in anger
• Remember the proper roles for husband and wife in marriage
• Don't just say you love him, show him
• Don't suppress your negative emotions, talk to him
• Enjoy your free time together
• No matter how busy you get, make time together!
• Dates are good :-)

That part was very interesting, because in most cases I was getting many years of wisdom distilled into that particular piece of advice.

There was a lot of discussion/debate about the "roles of a husband and wife" thing. Lots of people (especially men, hah) like to quote Ephesians for "wives submit to your husbands", but then they don't go on to quote the bit that tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves! For, as one of the ladies pointed out, what wife wouldn't gladly submit to a husband who always treated her with that kind of love?

In case you're thinking, how archaic and supressive, I can't believe people still use the word "submit" these days, what happened to women's rights, etc etc... a practical application of this teaching is that if a husband wants something but sees that his wife is worried/upset/distracted by something else, first he is going to do whatever he can to help her, and he's not going to ask her for what he wants until it's a good time to do so. And if a woman has such a kind/attentive/giving husband, she's going to be happy to give back to him too. Everyone's a winner :-)

Then after the words of wisdom, everyone gave me presents, which of course I enjoyed very much! Dishcloths, kitchen utensils, salt-and-vinegar sets, candlesticks (for those romantic dinners!), wineglasses and photoframes, all kinds of fun stuff. Welcome additions to my dota (dowry)! *grin*

My mother-in-law-to-be and her mother, who both have seen our kitchen (lol), gave us especially useful presents - a cute little pot perfect for hot chocolate or boiling an egg, and some soup plates and dinner plates. No more eating off those blue plastic plates from Eurochoice, lol.

It was a nice evening, and as I was thinking about it afterwards, I realised it was a like a rite of passage, something that we tend to lack these days. I feel loved and supported, always a good thing!

Comments

[faħmu]

if it wasn't a bit of a swim for instrument and instrumenter, i would recommend a good harpist for the event :)

[MaltaGirl]

Lol! Thanks anyway :-) I managed to find a pianist from another church, because, hahaha, all the musicans in our church (me, Mike, and his brother) are in our bridal party!

[Maressa]

Thanks for sharing all that advice :) wish you the best of luck

[MaltaGirl]

Thanks Maressa!